Battlestar Galactica "Escape Velocity"

I never thought I’d say it, but the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica had too much religion. The funeral at the beginning was nice; it reminded me of the positive treatment of religion in the first couple seasons. It was polytheistic, of course, but a good reminder of how hope for the next life can offer comfort, but can sometimes feel hollow. I also continue to appreciate the portrayal of Admiral Adama and President Roslin’s relationship. In a show which places such an exaggerated emphasis on sex, it’s refreshing to see a caring relationship that is not sexual. But the rest of the episode was a mess. From the attack by the fringe sect the “Sons of Ares,” to Gaius Baltar’s spiritual horse-pucky in the final scene – God loves you because you’re perfect, just as you are! (from the man who is anything but perfect) – I’m longing for their old sense of balance. The only thing I enjoyed about the Baltar story-line was when the Six in his head physically lifted him up like rag-doll – humorous, and somewhat ominous as well. Perhaps she’s more than just his imagination after all?

I’m dearly hoping the show gets better, and fast, but today I’m feeling snarky. So rather than a more comprehensive review (try here), I give you a picture of how my twisted mind works:

Me: I just don’t feel the same spark anymore…

BSG: But isn’t this what you wanted? You’ve been saying all along that you loved the way I focused on religion, said it was my best quality!

Me: I know, I know, it’s just… well, it feels like you’re trying too hard.

BSG: Ooh, so that’s how it is, is it? I sacrifice to give you what you want, but it’s never good enough!

Me: I just miss the old days; you used to tell such good stories, and the religious component was just a part. Why’d you have to get so fundamentalistic on me?

BSG: I’m just being honest! I thought you appreciated that about me!

Me: You can be honest without having to be so depressing all the time. Where’s the love? Is there any light at the end of this tunnel?

BSG: Oh come now, have a little faith!

Me: Yeah well, it’s just…

BSG: Just what?

Me: Well, to tell the truth… I’m seeing someone else.

BSG: WHAT? You two-timing - who?

Me: No one, just this show about people on an island, I forget what it’s called.

BSG: Sure you do, and what’s it got that I don’t?

Me: Well for starters, it doesn’t beat me over the head every episode. And when it explores religion, it lets us see broken people, not just broken theologies. And it gives an idea of the real struggles and joys of community, like you used to do. Like this one episode, “The 23rd Psalm”…

BSG: Yeah, yeah, you’re just starry-eyed; you haven’t even finished their second season, have you?

Me: That’s not the point!

BSG: You just can’t handle commitment! The first sign of trouble and you run off for someone else. Well what happens when you get bored of them too. You’ll find some new tramp I suppose!

Me: What do you expect? I’ve always been promiscuous in my TV viewing; you knew that from the start! You can’t expect me to put up with Gaius frakkin Baltar forever!

BSG: But all I’m asking is a little patience. You can’t stay with me for one more season?

Me: Alright, alright, I’ll give you another chance, but we’ll have to negotiate a more open relationship.

BSG: And what’s that supposed to mean?

Me: You get Friday nights, but the rest of the week I’m free to watch what I want. Yes, even LOST reruns.

BSG: Fine!

Me: Fine!